Le Chiffre? Le Muppet, more like.
Posted by Dave Bremner on 17 Mar 2010 at 08:03
In a recent post I referred to James Bond super-villain Le Chiffre, who takes on Daniel Craig’s Bond at no-limit Hold ‘Em at Casino Royale – despite having the rather unfortunate tell of an eye that bleeds whenever he’s bluffing.
Of course – as several people have pointed out – that isn’t Le Chiffre’s worse problem at the poker table. To put it bluntly, the guy is an absolute muppet.
I’d love to play him. To be fair, I can’t yet afford the kind of cash they play for in Montenegro or wherever it is, but I’d happily put my house, my wife and most of my major organs on the line to take the sucker on. And so would my Nan.
Let’s consider the evidence – apart from the tell, which Le Chiffre can’t be surprised to discover Bond has rumbled.
In the decisive hand Le Chiffre gets A-6 off-suit and decides to play. To be fair, he’s on the big blind, is comfortably ahead on chips and might as well have a look at the flop – assuming everyone else has only called. So I’ll go easy on him, although I wouldn’t argue if you wanted to badge him a numpty from here on in.
The real nugget at this point is Bond, who must know that his 7-5, suited though it is, is a pretty rubbish hand. Don’t they teach them anything in the Secret Service?
Of course, it’s a very nice flop for all parties: Bond is suddenly sitting on an inside straight draw with a fifty-fifty chance of a flush. Le Chiffre pairs up both his ace and his six – although he must know that isn’t a winning hand.
We don’t know what the post-flop betting was, but you’d assume one of the other two players – one sitting on an ace-high flush straight draw, with the same chance as Bond of getting a much better flush than his, and one who’s flopped a set of 8s – put some kind of raise in.
I’m told that at this point Le Chiffre had a 9% chance of winning. Well, I’m no Carol Vorderman but I can assure you I wouldn’t be calling like he must have done at this point. I’d either put down my cards or I’d be raising the hell out of the table.
Fortunately for the world’s terrorist fraternity Mr Twitchy pulls a runner-runner full house out of the bag which should ensure they’re amply funded for the next few years or so. Of course, unfortunately for them Bond gets an even more unlikely straight flush and an unassailable lead.
Le Chiffre gets a bad beat story that, to be honest, nobody would believe. Although I’d pretend to be interested as I took him to the cleaners.
Unless, of course, my Nan got there first.
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